Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Faith Gives Us a Place to Sit and Refill

You always hear people say God is with us. But what does that really mean? As a believer and faith walker, as you draw closer to God as Father in relationship, we feel His presence. We feel His presence in everything. We understand that God is everything and is in everything and wants us to relate with Him. When we realize Hie is with us, we also know He is there for us. 

In those moments when our human side feels alone, we connect with our spiritual and can feel that we are no alone at all. We never are. When we grow weary and tired and feel like we just can not see a way to go on, we are lifted by God's promises in His word. Then we know that our " faith gives us a place to sit and refill." In that place, He sits along with us, and His Holy Spirit pours into us a fresh anointing with a renewed spirit. 



We go to His well, that never runs dry. We go knowing that when we feel empty, lacking, or tires, our spirits are only longing for more of His presence. Its not that He has left us, but that we have gotten side tracked with our carnal life and we are not refilling our spirit. You can always pin point or at least I can, the times when those feelings overwhelm me and I am feeling alone and at a loss.  Those times always coincide with the times when my focus has shifted to this life more so than spiritual and relationship with the Father. 

May you always remember your source and connect with Him continuously. May you never forget your place of rest, peace, and renewal. He is everything we need. Won't you just live in Him as He lives in you?

He Restores My Soul

Question: How will you commit to connecting more with our Father, our everything? As you connect more do you see a big difference in how you feel?

Answer in the comments, would love to hear from you. 




Monday, June 1, 2020

In a Virus Pandemic and the Racism and Injustice Epidemic .....God's Promises of Healing and Restoration

The Outrage, Fed up, Been time for change....Do you feel it? We all should.

If Not, take a moment to take in these, but only a portion of the feelings our people are dealing with.

Anger, Fear, Pain, Hurt, Unwanted, Unprotected, Demeaned, Talked down to, Disrespected, Misunderstood, Unheard, Not seen, Dismissed, Ignored, Not Accepted, Denied, Overlooked, Accused, Unqualified, Not equal, Condemned to a certain life, Provoked, Wrongfully arrested, Killed, Murdered....no Justice, No Peace. 


The Journey, mile by mile, feels beyond what any of us/our Black people can bear. Misunderstood by those not in the shoes of the weary. The emotional and mental load is no longer teetering and barely keeping its balance, it has dropped over the edge right now and can no longer be contained. Now; Do you feel us? Do you see us? Can you hear us?

This world and all that it seems to put on you can be heavy, hurtful, painful, and incite angry, frustration and fear. All those, and more, emotions build up and can and does explode in ways not with an intent to destroy physically, but to be heard and seen and incite change in a world where we are not seen, heard, protected, or taken seriously.  There is definitely not time like the present to stand firmly on the Word of God. You can not forget the fight of the Spiritual Warfare. The fight over your mind, your heart, and against the Spirits passed down and transferred from one to another, and generation to generation, that have taken control over those causing and committing these acts of racism. We can not forget that fight, for it is the ultimate fight.

The true battlefield, Is in the minds and the hearts of the people and in the systems they have set up to be against us. When I am praying I like to be specific and really tackle every angle the enemy is trying to come through. I love the point that is brought out in the book Fervent, by Pricilla Shirer.

" If I were your enemyI'd disguise myself and manipulate your perspectives so that you'd focus on the wrong culprit....Because when you zero in on the most convenient, obvious places to strike back against your problems, you get the impressions you're fighting for something. Even though all you're really doing is just....Fighting. For nothing."

Just like in the tools of spirituals warfare, Prayer , the Word, and the Whole armor of God,  The battle in the physical will also need to have much Focus. Where do we go from here? We zero in on the real culprit(s) and we focus and utilize the tactics that will really incite change and sustain the change. 

God Promises us, and I am a believer. I believe what He says in His Word that as we come to Him humbly, He hears us and will heal the land. I believe that He is with us to the end of the world. I believe that there is nothing He can not do and that this change is only something He can do.  I believe and I know that He does restore our souls, and our lives and livelihood will be restored as promised. 

What will I do? I am going to refocus. I am standing on God's Word. I am fighting both fights. If we tackle the Spiritual, the Physical will line up.  I know that physical work is needed along with Faith. And I am willing to work. And yes, I will vote! Will you? We must! 

The Power of God supersedes all of this! He is yet on the thrown and in control! My fear is settled in the arms of His Peace, the assurance of His Love and His Promises.


Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Hey God I Hear You..........."Be Still, Wait, You are Predestined"

During this time when we have been forced to stop our routine lives and only do what is necessary then stay home, it has become apparent that there is more to this, this sitting game, more to it than just sitting. More to this than just more free time to chill, relax, and pass time until all is back to "normal," there has to be. Trust me, the relaxing time is much needed, but it definitely comes to a point when there's been enough of just doing that and that alone. What more is it? What could this time really be for? Am I utilizing this gift of time to the fullest?

Some ask how do I hear God? What does that really mean, what does that really sound like, How do you even know its Him? Well that takes relationship and also a heart and ear to listen. 

In the stillness of the night, the sounds of the day have faded into silence and a blanket of sleep has fell upon the entire house. A nudge, not a physical touch, but a spiritual one has awakened me from my sleep. Its quiet, we only get this real quiet time about 3 or 4 am when the night walkers of the house finally settle into their sleep. The initial feeling is that I need to get up to go to the bathroom, but it always turns out to be more than that. A time to Hear. A time to Listen.  In a subtle moment of heightened senses, you feel it, you hear it. Though its not loudly audible, its consciousness, its still thoughts, its peace, its understanding, its assurance.....its the arms of comfort and renewed strength. I hear God, I feel God. 

A still, small voice says "Rest, really rest, because this next season is going to be full force in abundance and blessings. Keep you mind in peace  and joy in your heart and a praise on your tongue, because there lies power. Pick up those books I gave you and along with my Word use to strengthen the firm foundation in your children. Write down those words you heard me say, in them is a sign, direction, and confirmation. Don't be afraid to make that move, go fourth with boldness and Faith. You have what it takes. You have me, in you, through you, around you.....Trust in Me."

Clarity. Assurance. Faith. Now Work.

Yes God, I Hear You.



Thursday, May 14, 2020

New Day....New Mercies

The sounds of morning hit me first. I can still here some birds chirping, even now. Bird sounds tend to always make me feel like all is okay out there in the world. When they start to to get quiet and there are no signs of birds in the air or trees, I tend to worry. Reminds me of the sign for Noah after the Great Flood. God is in control, even now, during this pandemic, He's in control. 

I already know that the light will hit me next. The light hits my eyes bright and hard, especially since we never put up any black out curtains over the blinds in the master. There are 3 sets of windows in the master and the sun shines bright at all angles. Never knew it was so bright. As a mom and a nurse, there's never been many times that I have been in bed still when the sun has risen for the day, until now. Its been almost 5 years living in this home and only now is every detail magnified. You really start to get to know every inch of your home when you are forced to stay in it for weeks, and months at a time. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I went to bed the night before not feeling great about everything I did or didn't do, or what I said or didn't say, or if I even left a mark at all. I know I didn't do as much as I could have, or everything I should have. There's a pile of books on my nightstand, note pads and pens stuck in each, including my Bible. After a long day with the kids and all the duties, I'm lucky if I can pick up one to read for 2 mins before I fall asleep. Most times I have to catch scriptures here and there on the Bible app or in a Bible plan I've signed up to complete. By the end of the day I feel like I just haven't did enough to spend more time with God. I feel like I thought some thoughts I shouldn't have and said some words not in the best way, and I'm sure I didn't treat everyone in a Christ-like way. Human nature and frustration sometimes takes over. Each night, I finish the day in prayer and pledge to start over and do better the next day. 

Its a new day. Not that the routine will be different or the tasks will change, but the Mercies are new. And Oh I thank God for that! Doesn't it just amaze you how God can see your faults, forgive you and move forward, just like that. Something we seldom even do for ourselves. He wants us to know that we are His children and that He is faithful and everything is okay. All we need, He provides. He knows our hearts and all is forgiven and the chance to start again is in the break of day. Squinting through the bright sun beaming through the room from every angle, its the break of a new day....New Mercies I see. 

🎵 Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! 

“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”
  Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me! 🎵

Great is Thy Faithfulness. 

Friday, May 8, 2020

Rinse and Repeat. Not Complaining.....Just counting my Blessings....Silence Blessings

A slither of light shines through the blinds as I squint over the edge of the comforter, the last moments of silence fades away as the door slams for the 2nd time. My husband is off to work another day. The signal that its a work day/weekday. This is the day tracker I have now, since all the days are running together. For a moment there is a silence right before the slow creaking sounds from the bed moving in the other room, the door slowly opening, and the hallway floor enduring the steps of another day. Then a fast scampering of little feet resounds throughout my room and I feel a hovering cloud hanging over me as I open my eyes to a loud voice, "Good Morning Mommy! Can I have Breakfast!?" Time to get up.    

I'm Up. Use restroom...Brush teeth, check. Wash face, check.  Get Dressed, Check. Do the same for the little one. Then grab the essentials, cell phone, tablet, headphones, water bottle, head downstairs for the another day. "What do you want for Breakfast?" is repeated 10 times before my 10 year old finally answers. The little one, my 4 year old knows what she wants right away, she knew before we came downstairs. For a moment there is a silence between the chews and chomps but soon comes the roaring sound of the 3rd argument between them since we woke up. Its another copy cat session, or who's first competition, or battle over what to do next. Let's not forget the ongoing game of "Floor's Lava" being played between each bite of food. I'm on repeat mode, "please stop fussing, please sit down and finish eating, " leave your sister alone," "leave your brother alone," " please stop being so loud, he's right in front of you," "Please get off your head." Same song, Same dance, inevitable. 

Now can we just settle down for our school day at home. My 10 year old heads off to the office to continue working on his virtual learning assignments for the day. He's been up at least an hour before us and does not hesitate to tell me multiple times that he doesn't have much to do or he doesn't see anything posted yet. Everyday the same reply, "Caden, you have to check back and make sure, you know the teachers don't post till after 9 am." "It is 9!" I stretch my eyes wide in an attempt for him to feel every word I am about to say as I say it for the umpteenth time in a row "Yes Caden, its exactly 9, please, you have to give them more time." 

He finally settles in front of the computer for all of 5 mins before he pops back out to make sure to disturb his sister and I while we are beginning her lesson for the day. I'm in my bus driving and teacher mode, its the only way to get her to cooperate. As I sit on the sofa with my hands around an imaginary steering wheel, I call out, "The bus is here, any kids at the bus stop, ready to go to school?" She grabs her pre-filled book bag, comes running to the sofa shouting "I'm coming, wait for me!" She sits down on the desk beside me and pretends to ride the bus to school. We "arrive at school" and she gets off the bus (up out of the desk) and walks away into the "school doors" and turns back around, places book bag at the "cubby area," (a space beside the TV)  sits back in the same desk beside me and says " Good morning teacher, I'm ready for school." I am no longer the bus driving, I am now the teacher, until the end of the school day that is. 🤷‍♀️ Hey, whatever works. 

We go through the day alternating sit down reading and writing and coloring time with up and moving to the music time. At some point we even have a lunch break, first with the lunch she packed in her bag from her play kitchen, and then with real food. We also have recess. Usually that involves some sort of stretching, conditioning for gymnastics and practice on her floor bar and mat. The head/hand stands and cartwheels and stunt flips are nonstop, so we have to channel those skills into a sport she loves and is great at. Of course she doesn't want to do the pretend nap time. A mom can only try.

Caden has come out several times on his own, taking breaks and restarting his work until he has finished for the day. I make sure to do all the checks and make sure I ask, " Did you finish everything, Did you do your best work, Did you remember to press the submit button?" It never fells, he has to go back and make sure he pressed submit. 

Ok, Wooo, its about 1:30 pm and we are done with school, now what do we do? Still no video games during the school week, we tried to lighten up on that rule the first 2 weeks and it didn't work out so well with the quality of work being submitted. So now we find a game to play together, or watch a movie together, or pull out tablets and watch their own shows or movies, while mommy tries to get some of her work done.  Yeh, that last option never works out well for mommy. Didn't hurt to try though. There it is again, a moment of silence as the part of a movie plays that they like, of course they don't sit quietly watching a whole movie. 

Its about 3:30 pm now and they are biting at their nails for another snack. Never late on meal and snack times, if they can't remember anything else, they know those time. They run to the pantry, ask me about the sweet snacks again (they know they can't have until Fridays and weekend days), then they stand looking as if the wall to wall, full pantry has nothing else in there to eat. Then the scuffling starts, I hear a door slam and sounds of cries coming from the kitchen. "Caden closed me out the pantry! Caden won't let me get a snack!" As I calm them again and they finally get a snack, a bit of silence happens again. 

At about 4:30 pm its time for me to prep dinner and get started cooking. I made a mistake long ago and told them dinner will be ready by 6:30 pm and they have held me to that every since. We either have dinner or wait till daddy comes home and eat all together, depends on how slow I am moving, what I am cooking and how fussy they are. 

The kids freeze to the screeching sound of the garage door coming up and they know their dad is home. They take off running. Its in ongoing game they play to see if their dad can find them. Either that or they hide and try to jump out and scare him. From this point on, the silence is non-existing until their bedtime. He comes in and saves the day, he is their adult size play buddy. I see his posture, I know he is tired, but he doesn't show them that. He jumps right in and plays or takes them outside to play till their heart's content. They love it and they love him. I am so thankful. He has no idea what this moment means to me. I plop on the sofa and just breath, Im scrolling through my phone, but really just in a daze.  We eat, we may watch a movie or play a game or he with them and I just stare into space or try to get some work done again. He makes sure they get their baths and nightly meds and get them to to bed. I'm still in that same spot on the sofa. Pooped. 

We finally get to bed and start talking about our day  and anything else we just want to get out. And there it is again, silence, in the pauses between us talking and then just me talking and then a long silence. He fell asleep again. I was just talking to myself for then last few sentences. I know he is very tired. I take a deep breath, sigh, then chuckle and roll over to get some rest and get ready to rinse and repeat again tomorrow. 

One, Two, Three, Four.....and some more....its in there all throughout the day. Little, Big Blessings not taken for granted, not overlooked.  Just what I prayed for, good health, happy kids, family bonding, and a dash of silence and peace here and there. Restoring my strength a little all day long to make it through the day and on to the next. God never stops, He never sleeps, He is always working and ensuring you make it through. Its all what I can bear and the righteous will never be forsaken. I just Thank God for that 🙌 and of course for those Silence Blessings😉 
❤️

Thursday, April 16, 2020

From Frontline "Essential Worker" to Homeland Warrior....still a Frontliner

I know I have been restored for such a time as this....

"I am a Nurse," rings in my head over and over and I have such an urge to get up, get out there and help in any way I can, because that's what we do, that's that I do, that's what my heart pulls me to want to do. But I am also a Wife, and Mom, a Daughter....Granddaughter and so on. In these times, this pulls on my more. The uncertainties of everything and all that we are learning about this virus is beyond our everyday decision to go out the house and go save lives. It's not the same, never did I feel like I was not able to protect myself no matter what was thrown at me.

Besides, there other battlefields out here. One that is not really being talked about, not in the sense of being on the front lines. Battlefields of the Mind, Battlefields in the Home, and Financial Battlefields. What is it really like for a Nurse, in this time today, who has to decide that her calling as a Nurse has to take a back burner to her calling as a Wife and Mom first?  The thoughts of not contributing to the team and feeling less than. That Battle is pocketing those thoughts and continuing on to keep going for the leading job at hand now, adding on being a teacher to the household duties that already spilled over your plate. Recognizing its okay to vent and you still love your family, your children, your spouse, and it doesn't take away from the great extra times you now have altogether; but still feeling bad for doing it.

Its just a whole new life, you are no longer going out of the home to work daily, so no new money coming in, only additions to your roles and responsibilities. My eyes bulge out of my head at the thought of how my days go, day in and day out. After numerous hours of restless sleep, and trips to the bathroom, awakened by the kiss on my forehead of my husband saying goodbye as he leaves for work. Its 630 am. Then a few minutes later our 4 year old comes in to get in bed with me until her brother, our 10 yr old decided he is ready for breakfast. We try to get the day going by 9 am. Get ready, eat breakfast, and get this "school" day going. God did not grant me the patience that teachers have. I have a whole schedule posted on the fridge and we stick to it, that's just how I am. Its what keeps me sane. Breakfast, schoolwork, am break/snack, schoolwork, lunch, schoolwork, pm snack, finish schoolwork, then free time. Yes, of course somewhere in between all all that we have breaks that are not on the schedule.....come on, kids will be kids. I get a little moment in, until the kids see me actually trying to get something done, then my attention is needed immediately, always immediately. Then its time to get dinner going and look forward to a little break my husband gives me as her spends time with the kids when he gets home. That little break, big to me, is so needed. It's 10pm......the day will be starting over again soon. They need me here too. The Front line here is just as important.

I joke to myself that its groundhog day, like the movie. I don't know what day it is anymore. We are just going to keep waking up to the same day, over and over again until we get it right. Until we make the decision that God is trying to show us, truly listen and hear Him, and make the right move. I'm praying and I am listening, and I know God is on the thrown. Most of all I pray to remain in that peace, that peace that only He can give. You don't have to understand it, why with all that going on, does the outside still look calm and unbothered, why is she not insane, why does she still have a praise in her heart and a "Thank You Jesus" out her mouth. God's Peace, surpassing all understanding. I am so Grateful.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Working Working Working ....Goal Digging vs. Parenting and Spousing

My goals are expanding everyday. It seems like I have some new extension of business that I feel compelled to do every minute of everyday.  Not only am I being pulled towards my ambitions and callings, but also keeping in mind my role as a wife and parent, I am called to balance it all. My goal is to come closer to my happiness and life fulfillment in my career(s), while also giving my kids all the opportunities to learn, grow, and have fun, and my husband support, love, and quality time. Woooh, yes, that is a mouthful. But hey, us mom's/women make it happen, daily, no matter what.

Its a push to keep going some days. Some days a flooring of the gas pedal full on, and others are in a slow cruise mode like Sunday driving like there's nowhere to get to fast. As I am writing, I just noticed I left off myself, taking care of myself. Rest, eating right, sleeping, exercising, and treating myself to some pampering......always far fetched and last on my list. Actually, more recently, I have put me at the top more, saying, no, when I need to and resting more. I just have to keep it consistent. You definitely can't pour into others when you are depleted. I thank God for His strength that reaches to me daily. 

This prioritization has initiated this urge to transition this blog in somewhat of a new direction. I just want to me the light I am called to be and to walk in the calling of restoration and all that that means for who I am, all of my roles, and all the services I offer in business. Our main focus in business is youth restoration and strengthening the parent/child connection/relationship, so I will focus on topics related the most. 

I'm excited about this continued journey....won't you join me.....