Hey God I Hear You..........."Be Still, Wait, You are Predestined"

During this time when we have been forced to stop our routine lives and only do what is necessary then stay home, it has become apparent that there is more to this, this sitting game, more to it than just sitting. More to this than just more free time to chill, relax, and pass time until all is back to "normal," there has to be. Trust me, the relaxing time is much needed, but it definitely comes to a point when there's been enough of just doing that and that alone. What more is it? What could this time really be for? Am I utilizing this gift of time to the fullest?

Some ask how do I hear God? What does that really mean, what does that really sound like, How do you even know its Him? Well that takes relationship and also a heart and ear to listen. 

In the stillness of the night, the sounds of the day have faded into silence and a blanket of sleep has fell upon the entire house. A nudge, not a physical touch, but a spiritual one has awakened me from my sleep. Its quiet, we only get this real quiet time about 3 or 4 am when the night walkers of the house finally settle into their sleep. The initial feeling is that I need to get up to go to the bathroom, but it always turns out to be more than that. A time to Hear. A time to Listen.  In a subtle moment of heightened senses, you feel it, you hear it. Though its not loudly audible, its consciousness, its still thoughts, its peace, its understanding, its assurance.....its the arms of comfort and renewed strength. I hear God, I feel God. 

A still, small voice says "Rest, really rest, because this next season is going to be full force in abundance and blessings. Keep you mind in peace  and joy in your heart and a praise on your tongue, because there lies power. Pick up those books I gave you and along with my Word use to strengthen the firm foundation in your children. Write down those words you heard me say, in them is a sign, direction, and confirmation. Don't be afraid to make that move, go fourth with boldness and Faith. You have what it takes. You have me, in you, through you, around you.....Trust in Me."

Clarity. Assurance. Faith. Now Work.

Yes God, I Hear You.

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New Day....New Mercies

The sounds of morning hit me first. I can still here some birds chirping, even now. Bird sounds tend to always make me feel like all is okay out there in the world. When they start to to get quiet and there are no signs of birds in the air or trees, I tend to worry. Reminds me of the sign for Noah after the Great Flood. God is in control, even now, during this pandemic, He's in control. 

I already know that the light will hit me next. The light hits my eyes bright and hard, especially since we never put up any black out curtains over the blinds in the master. There are 3 sets of windows in the master and the sun shines bright at all angles. Never knew it was so bright. As a mom and a nurse, there's never been many times that I have been in bed still when the sun has risen for the day, until now. Its been almost 5 years living in this home and only now is every detail magnified. You really start to get to know every inch of your home when you are forced to stay in it for weeks, and months at a time. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I went to bed the night before not feeling great about everything I did or didn't do, or what I said or didn't say, or if I even left a mark at all. I know I didn't do as much as I could have, or everything I should have. There's a pile of books on my nightstand, note pads and pens stuck in each, including my Bible. After a long day with the kids and all the duties, I'm lucky if I can pick up one to read for 2 mins before I fall asleep. Most times I have to catch scriptures here and there on the Bible app or in a Bible plan I've signed up to complete. By the end of the day I feel like I just haven't did enough to spend more time with God. I feel like I thought some thoughts I shouldn't have and said some words not in the best way, and I'm sure I didn't treat everyone in a Christ-like way. Human nature and frustration sometimes takes over. Each night, I finish the day in prayer and pledge to start over and do better the next day. 

Its a new day. Not that the routine will be different or the tasks will change, but the Mercies are new. And Oh I thank God for that! Doesn't it just amaze you how God can see your faults, forgive you and move forward, just like that. Something we seldom even do for ourselves. He wants us to know that we are His children and that He is faithful and everything is okay. All we need, He provides. He knows our hearts and all is forgiven and the chance to start again is in the break of day. Squinting through the bright sun beaming through the room from every angle, its the break of a new day....New Mercies I see. 

🎵 Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside! 

“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”
  Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me! 🎵

Great is Thy Faithfulness. 

Rinse and Repeat. Not Complaining.....Just counting my Blessings....Silence Blessings

A slither of light shines through the blinds as I squint over the edge of the comforter, the last moments of silence fades away as the door slams for the 2nd time. My husband is off to work another day. The signal that its a work day/weekday. This is the day tracker I have now, since all the days are running together. For a moment there is a silence right before the slow creaking sounds from the bed moving in the other room, the door slowly opening, and the hallway floor enduring the steps of another day. Then a fast scampering of little feet resounds throughout my room and I feel a hovering cloud hanging over me as I open my eyes to a loud voice, "Good Morning Mommy! Can I have Breakfast!?" Time to get up.    

I'm Up. Use restroom...Brush teeth, check. Wash face, check.  Get Dressed, Check. Do the same for the little one. Then grab the essentials, cell phone, tablet, headphones, water bottle, head downstairs for the another day. "What do you want for Breakfast?" is repeated 10 times before my 10 year old finally answers. The little one, my 4 year old knows what she wants right away, she knew before we came downstairs. For a moment there is a silence between the chews and chomps but soon comes the roaring sound of the 3rd argument between them since we woke up. Its another copy cat session, or who's first competition, or battle over what to do next. Let's not forget the ongoing game of "Floor's Lava" being played between each bite of food. I'm on repeat mode, "please stop fussing, please sit down and finish eating, " leave your sister alone," "leave your brother alone," " please stop being so loud, he's right in front of you," "Please get off your head." Same song, Same dance, inevitable. 

Now can we just settle down for our school day at home. My 10 year old heads off to the office to continue working on his virtual learning assignments for the day. He's been up at least an hour before us and does not hesitate to tell me multiple times that he doesn't have much to do or he doesn't see anything posted yet. Everyday the same reply, "Caden, you have to check back and make sure, you know the teachers don't post till after 9 am." "It is 9!" I stretch my eyes wide in an attempt for him to feel every word I am about to say as I say it for the umpteenth time in a row "Yes Caden, its exactly 9, please, you have to give them more time." 

He finally settles in front of the computer for all of 5 mins before he pops back out to make sure to disturb his sister and I while we are beginning her lesson for the day. I'm in my bus driving and teacher mode, its the only way to get her to cooperate. As I sit on the sofa with my hands around an imaginary steering wheel, I call out, "The bus is here, any kids at the bus stop, ready to go to school?" She grabs her pre-filled book bag, comes running to the sofa shouting "I'm coming, wait for me!" She sits down on the desk beside me and pretends to ride the bus to school. We "arrive at school" and she gets off the bus (up out of the desk) and walks away into the "school doors" and turns back around, places book bag at the "cubby area," (a space beside the TV)  sits back in the same desk beside me and says " Good morning teacher, I'm ready for school." I am no longer the bus driving, I am now the teacher, until the end of the school day that is. 🤷‍♀️ Hey, whatever works. 

We go through the day alternating sit down reading and writing and coloring time with up and moving to the music time. At some point we even have a lunch break, first with the lunch she packed in her bag from her play kitchen, and then with real food. We also have recess. Usually that involves some sort of stretching, conditioning for gymnastics and practice on her floor bar and mat. The head/hand stands and cartwheels and stunt flips are nonstop, so we have to channel those skills into a sport she loves and is great at. Of course she doesn't want to do the pretend nap time. A mom can only try.

Caden has come out several times on his own, taking breaks and restarting his work until he has finished for the day. I make sure to do all the checks and make sure I ask, " Did you finish everything, Did you do your best work, Did you remember to press the submit button?" It never fells, he has to go back and make sure he pressed submit. 

Ok, Wooo, its about 1:30 pm and we are done with school, now what do we do? Still no video games during the school week, we tried to lighten up on that rule the first 2 weeks and it didn't work out so well with the quality of work being submitted. So now we find a game to play together, or watch a movie together, or pull out tablets and watch their own shows or movies, while mommy tries to get some of her work done.  Yeh, that last option never works out well for mommy. Didn't hurt to try though. There it is again, a moment of silence as the part of a movie plays that they like, of course they don't sit quietly watching a whole movie. 

Its about 3:30 pm now and they are biting at their nails for another snack. Never late on meal and snack times, if they can't remember anything else, they know those time. They run to the pantry, ask me about the sweet snacks again (they know they can't have until Fridays and weekend days), then they stand looking as if the wall to wall, full pantry has nothing else in there to eat. Then the scuffling starts, I hear a door slam and sounds of cries coming from the kitchen. "Caden closed me out the pantry! Caden won't let me get a snack!" As I calm them again and they finally get a snack, a bit of silence happens again. 

At about 4:30 pm its time for me to prep dinner and get started cooking. I made a mistake long ago and told them dinner will be ready by 6:30 pm and they have held me to that every since. We either have dinner or wait till daddy comes home and eat all together, depends on how slow I am moving, what I am cooking and how fussy they are. 

The kids freeze to the screeching sound of the garage door coming up and they know their dad is home. They take off running. Its in ongoing game they play to see if their dad can find them. Either that or they hide and try to jump out and scare him. From this point on, the silence is non-existing until their bedtime. He comes in and saves the day, he is their adult size play buddy. I see his posture, I know he is tired, but he doesn't show them that. He jumps right in and plays or takes them outside to play till their heart's content. They love it and they love him. I am so thankful. He has no idea what this moment means to me. I plop on the sofa and just breath, Im scrolling through my phone, but really just in a daze.  We eat, we may watch a movie or play a game or he with them and I just stare into space or try to get some work done again. He makes sure they get their baths and nightly meds and get them to to bed. I'm still in that same spot on the sofa. Pooped. 

We finally get to bed and start talking about our day  and anything else we just want to get out. And there it is again, silence, in the pauses between us talking and then just me talking and then a long silence. He fell asleep again. I was just talking to myself for then last few sentences. I know he is very tired. I take a deep breath, sigh, then chuckle and roll over to get some rest and get ready to rinse and repeat again tomorrow. 

One, Two, Three, Four.....and some more....its in there all throughout the day. Little, Big Blessings not taken for granted, not overlooked.  Just what I prayed for, good health, happy kids, family bonding, and a dash of silence and peace here and there. Restoring my strength a little all day long to make it through the day and on to the next. God never stops, He never sleeps, He is always working and ensuring you make it through. Its all what I can bear and the righteous will never be forsaken. I just Thank God for that 🙌 and of course for those Silence Blessings😉 

❤️