From Frontline "Essential Worker" to Homeland Warrior....still a Frontliner

I know I have been restored for such a time as this....

"I am a Nurse," rings in my head over and over and I have such an urge to get up, get out there and help in any way I can, because that's what we do, that's that I do, that's what my heart pulls me to want to do. But I am also a Wife, and Mom, a Daughter....Granddaughter and so on. In these times, this pulls on my more. The uncertainties of everything and all that we are learning about this virus is beyond our everyday decision to go out the house and go save lives. It's not the same, never did I feel like I was not able to protect myself no matter what was thrown at me.

Besides, there other battlefields out here. One that is not really being talked about, not in the sense of being on the front lines. Battlefields of the Mind, Battlefields in the Home, and Financial Battlefields. What is it really like for a Nurse, in this time today, who has to decide that her calling as a Nurse has to take a back burner to her calling as a Wife and Mom first?  The thoughts of not contributing to the team and feeling less than. That Battle is pocketing those thoughts and continuing on to keep going for the leading job at hand now, adding on being a teacher to the household duties that already spilled over your plate. Recognizing its okay to vent and you still love your family, your children, your spouse, and it doesn't take away from the great extra times you now have altogether; but still feeling bad for doing it.

Its just a whole new life, you are no longer going out of the home to work daily, so no new money coming in, only additions to your roles and responsibilities. My eyes bulge out of my head at the thought of how my days go, day in and day out. After numerous hours of restless sleep, and trips to the bathroom, awakened by the kiss on my forehead of my husband saying goodbye as he leaves for work. Its 630 am. Then a few minutes later our 4 year old comes in to get in bed with me until her brother, our 10 yr old decided he is ready for breakfast. We try to get the day going by 9 am. Get ready, eat breakfast, and get this "school" day going. God did not grant me the patience that teachers have. I have a whole schedule posted on the fridge and we stick to it, that's just how I am. Its what keeps me sane. Breakfast, schoolwork, am break/snack, schoolwork, lunch, schoolwork, pm snack, finish schoolwork, then free time. Yes, of course somewhere in between all all that we have breaks that are not on the schedule.....come on, kids will be kids. I get a little moment in, until the kids see me actually trying to get something done, then my attention is needed immediately, always immediately. Then its time to get dinner going and look forward to a little break my husband gives me as her spends time with the kids when he gets home. That little break, big to me, is so needed. It's 10pm......the day will be starting over again soon. They need me here too. The Front line here is just as important.

I joke to myself that its groundhog day, like the movie. I don't know what day it is anymore. We are just going to keep waking up to the same day, over and over again until we get it right. Until we make the decision that God is trying to show us, truly listen and hear Him, and make the right move. I'm praying and I am listening, and I know God is on the thrown. Most of all I pray to remain in that peace, that peace that only He can give. You don't have to understand it, why with all that going on, does the outside still look calm and unbothered, why is she not insane, why does she still have a praise in her heart and a "Thank You Jesus" out her mouth. God's Peace, surpassing all understanding. I am so Grateful.

Working Working Working ....Goal Digging vs. Parenting and Spousing

My goals are expanding everyday. It seems like I have some new extension of business that I feel compelled to do every minute of everyday.  Not only am I being pulled towards my ambitions and callings, but also keeping in mind my role as a wife and parent, I am called to balance it all. My goal is to come closer to my happiness and life fulfillment in my career(s), while also giving my kids all the opportunities to learn, grow, and have fun, and my husband support, love, and quality time. Woooh, yes, that is a mouthful. But hey, us mom's/women make it happen, daily, no matter what.

Its a push to keep going some days. Some days a flooring of the gas pedal full on, and others are in a slow cruise mode like Sunday driving like there's nowhere to get to fast. As I am writing, I just noticed I left off myself, taking care of myself. Rest, eating right, sleeping, exercising, and treating myself to some pampering......always far fetched and last on my list. Actually, more recently, I have put me at the top more, saying, no, when I need to and resting more. I just have to keep it consistent. You definitely can't pour into others when you are depleted. I thank God for His strength that reaches to me daily. 

This prioritization has initiated this urge to transition this blog in somewhat of a new direction. I just want to me the light I am called to be and to walk in the calling of restoration and all that that means for who I am, all of my roles, and all the services I offer in business. Our main focus in business is youth restoration and strengthening the parent/child connection/relationship, so I will focus on topics related the most. 

I'm excited about this continued journey....won't you join me..... 

Will you go.....Will you recognize God's voice and heed to His word?

Its funny how God will send you to a place that is completely out of your norm, and you can't figure out why He sent you there until after you have left. If He says go back, He will give you what to say and do this time, will you heed to His word, even when its completely out of your comfort zone?

 I am a travel nurse in the operating room. I spend most weeks at very different outpatient centers, with a wide variety of cases.  I contemplated this same scenario when I was first sent to work at an IVF surgery center. My thoughts were, "why am I here? I am too emotional to be here. I don't know what to do for these patients. What can I offer these patients when I can't even control my own emotions in the hard times?" There's a difference in how you see yourself versus how God sees you. Even when you think you have affirmed yourself and, know that you know, who you are and whose you are, you still have a ways to go. God knows our beginning and our end, He sees us in a way like no other.  He wants our thoughts to be His thoughts of us.

After weeks of working at this particular location, I soon came to realize why I was there. I was there to cry with these couples, to hold their hands, to silently pray over them for comfort, and peace, and strength; to encourage them to stay strong and know there is a plan in the works if they only just keep believing, to be right there during each step of the process and ensure them that they are not alone. It is just so much inside of me that I could not even see, until I opened my mind to exploring why God wound send me.

This is relevant for so many other circumstances and situations. Listening to the radio the other day, I heard the host say " The enemy's attack is on our belief. God will strengthen you and remind you who you are in Him. I Pray to God to help my unbelief." God knows you way more than you know yourself and believes in you even when you can't see His plan for you in a given moment. He just wants us to connect, relate, and open our hearts and minds to believing even what we can not see just yet.

Get out there, just go where He sends you, When you get there (preordained destiny), He will give you what to say and do. Don't be afraid, just delivery the message. Jeremiah 1:9

Restoring Someone

True Faith can change someone's situation, if you can do, do.......God will not allow you to go down helping someone in need. Its His purpose for us.

-James 1:14-20

Faith can be difficult to sustain, I once heard a preacher say, "the one thing that lets you know you are not trusting and having faith is the manifestation of your sins." You sin because, you don't believe God will handle your situation. Or you don't help others when you are able, because you fear that you will cause yourself to be in need also. This means you do not trust that God will take care of you and yours. Restoration of Life Center, is a small, still developing organization that is stepping out totally on faith, believing that God will do what seems to be the impossible. We are helping others with the little that God have giving us, expecting that God will continue to give even more so that we are able to continue in our mission and calling. Faith is easier when you carry a spirit of expectation.

Expectation is not thinking the worst, and looking forward to what is great to come. In all areas of our life, having great expectations of our great God can begin by changing the surface and then penetrating those areas and turning them around for our good. I believe, because God said, and I've seen Him do it before.

Step out of your comfort zones and give as your heart desires. Trust God to do the exceedingly, Great and what seems impossible. I personally rejoice in what God enables me to do for others........as I rejoice, he sees my heart, and blessing me also.

Thanking God for this season of Grace, Mercy, and Favor......Amen.

Spring into Stronger Relationships......beginning with God first

If we think about it, we have many relationships and many of them are pretty strained. Yes the relationships have good moments but, there are some pretty big bad, stressful, and unhappy moments as well. The first thing we tend to do is to blame the other person in the relationship rather than looking are our contribution to the problem and turning to God first. The key solution, which is rarely ever the first approach is to examine our relationship with God and what needs to change to perfect that relationship first by aligning our life with Christ. This sounds deep, but its really not.
As Christians we are suppose to be living like Christ, so our life should reflect a Christ life, right. That can only be accomplished by giving up yourself totally and trusting God completely. Now this is hard. As a human, with sin, your first approach to relationships is to get your own pleasure from it, as well as all things you do in life. The sincere and real approach should be a whole other motive. Your ultimate goal is and always should be to live as Christ would, love and give without focus of only what you want in return, but because it is what God wants from you.
All it takes is for one participant in the relationship to surrender totally to God and He will mend and restore your relationships to a level you could not even imagine. Try it. I've know it works......I've seen it work.

"When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him"
-proverbs 16:7

National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month

Reach out to someone this month, especially our youth. Let them know that this too shall pass, and the things happening now are only temporary, that they all wonderful, they are beautiful, and they are loved. They need to hear this Badly.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  1 Peter 3:3-4

http://www.mhasck.org/news/article72.html

"February is National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month, and not a month too soon for teens who are in dire need of self-esteem boosting. Low self-esteem is a critical issue facing teens today. It has been proven that low self-esteem affects learning and can lead to such problems as delinquency, unhealthy relationships, eating disorders, drugs and suicide. According to most estimates, about 30 percent of today's teenagers are dropping out of high school and every school day 160,000 students miss school because of bullying. Hey U.G.L.Y. has teamed with the National Association for Self Esteem help teens realize they are cool just the way they are."

Knowing Your History

It is very important to know where you come from. If you never know where it all started and all the history behind you, your family, you culture, and your world, then you will more than likely never know what exactly makes you tic, what's really inside of you, and what you can really accoumplish. Take the time, this month, to explore everything about yourself, even if you are not African American, History is good for everyone.

The Beginning of your History is that God knows you, before you knew yourself, and He knows your future......

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalms 139:13-16